on the roof

For many reasons, I enjoy being alone.

For many reasons, I dispise being alone.

For now, I shall enjoy being alone,
knowing that I am not truly alone,
and knowing I won't always be alone.

I look forward to
"standing shoulder to shoulder with someone;
fighting the worst that satan can do to us."
-Randy Alcorn, Safely Home

balut

Buying the egg. (Very cheap).Imagining eating the egg. (This was on New Years Eve.)

Excited.... (In Ate Pen's parent's house, with her brother, Julius).Opening the egg. (And then drinking the "juice" which actually didn't taste that bad..)

Alright - stop there. That does NOT look like a normal egg.

So yah. Balut is a duck's embrio. Basically they wait until the day before the bird is supposed to hatch and then they cook the bird - and eat it. You first crack open the egg, drink the "juice" (the duck's pee and other), and then you pop it in!
Cute little ducky... yah right. The taste of the egg itself wasn't bad. I personally just swallowed the duck after one chew. Interestingly enough, Ate Pen is full Filipino and this was her very first time eating balut (hense, her expressive faces).

The "after-you-eat-balut-face".

syndrome.

So I was just told I have "Missionary Syndrome".

Alas.

The symptoms:
-I've felt guilt for owning things, yet
-I've been prideful for trying to live off of nothing.
-I've felt shame for having too much.
-I've felt useless.
-I've been bord.
-I've been extreamly lonely...
-I've been confused
-I feel emotionally tired most of the time

May the Lord be gracious.
May I learn to CLING to the LORD.
May He be my everything...
even if I am diseased.

please...

please pray.
thank you.
thank you.

cut

First time to get a hair cut here.
Memorized all the Tagalog words,
"Not too short."
"Just a little."
"Don't cut my bangs."
"I don't want short hair."
Then the guy spoke English.

And he was gay.

It was quite the experience...
to say the least.
I've never had such a glamerous hair cut
and for only $6 Canadian...

Many of the workers came just to watch.
(Apparently the colour of my hair is...different.)
Haha!

It turned out just fine,
and I walked out giggling
for it was only the Lord and I,
sharing the experience together...

Team Retreat!

The day started with a beautiful wedding... A Russian couple came to have a beach wedding!

We had a lovely day together as a team... I love Ate Carmel - she has the genuine joy of Christ!

Mom shot.
Murray shot.

I haven't yet learned to climb a palm tree - but I can sure hug one! [And then get my legs and arms scraped up - then go swimming with my cuts in salt water...smart, Robynn.]

Greg and Sarah - a couple from Canada - truly have their hearts set on serving Christ here. They are a wonderful couple...

The ride home - I scored a free coconut by doing what Ate Pen has taught me: by asking. The drive home was a blast: I'm sure we sang worship songs for at least two hours - all 12 of us in the van. :)

One always needs a jumping picture wherever one goes...

Although I am very thankful to be here, I do miss everyone...

question:

"two are better than one...if one falls down he has a friend to pick him up."

-ecclesiastes

Q: what happens when both fall down at the same time?

Ideas of what may happen:

A. they both sit in the mud and become bitter together, not willing to get up.

B. the struggle, trying for themselves to get up while bringing the other one down.

C. they work together to get out of the mess and then carefully peel the mud off of each other and then bandage up each other's wounds. and then [of course] hug. :) It must always end in a hug.

Hmmm...I like choice.

[on my prayer wall]

"the righteous will live by faith!"
heb. 10:32

"...according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus..."
ph. 4:19

"...but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment."
1 tim. 6:17

love in the mail...

So, the day started out like this.
I woke up late, showered, made some oatmeal and green tea, ran out the door.
Alas, it had rained al night long so the puddles covered the majority of the streets.
This would not be a problem for most Filipinos because everyone here can walk in flip flops without getting mud up the back of their legs -
everyone that is, except for me.
The bus dropped me off and I headed off. I do not mention the times I am almost hit by vehicals here to my mother.
Crossing the street looks somthing like this: I find a Filipino and watch them from the corner of my eye, standing parallel with them. When they move, I move too. We make it past one lane and come to a quick stop on the white dotted line and I hold my breath as a bus comes inches from my nose. Then we continue on, a couple more lanes this time, and then stop again [right in the middle] to let some more vehicals past. When we make it to the other side I smile to the wonderful Filipino who has helped me [unknowingly] cross the street and I smile to my Lord who was holding my hand.
The day at the center was great - the kids are so perfect. I know that Christ indeed loves them.
{I shall share more later on this subject...}
When I got home the guard winked at me and handed me a slip of paper telling me I had a package in the mail! So I hopped on my bike and grabbed the map.

How wonderful - my family and friends sent the most beautiful package from home! Letters upon letters were given. My family sent many wonderful things....

So to all who were involved in sending love in the package -

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!

[text]

I recieved a
special text
this morning.

It was a
simple "hi,
how are you?"

It also
included a
verse:

John 16:33

How beautiful
are the hands
who [text] good
news to those
who desperately
need it...

Thank you,
my brother.

guts

I just killed a beetle.
And then I flicked it under the carpet leaving the guts on the floor.
Sure enough, a couple minutes later, a tribe of ants came and invaded the area.

This is indeed what I'm learning:
when I mess up (which I do often)
I can't just ask for forgiveness and then leave it at that.
I need to clean up the mess - deal with the consiquences -
run away (far away) from the temptation...
before the ants move in and make more of a mess...

ps - I go back to my "ministries" on Wednesday... I will be hopefully getting into some new ministries at a youth church...perhaps...

Without Condition

Unconditional love.

I'm learning what this means....

I really believe that in any relationship, there can't be any selfishness.

If there is, there's going to be problems.

If there is unconditional love -

meaning: it doesn't matter what you choose to do, I will always love you -

that's where relationships grow and thrive.

"Wife and husband must be more than lovers. Must be comrades, soldiers fighting side by side for the same great cause."

"Wife and husband should not only lie down face-to-face, but stand up shoulder to shoulder. They must face together the worst Satan can do to them. And when they draw strength from God, He binds them together." -Randy Alcorn

I want to learn this love.

Today, as I am with my Filipino friends serving God.

In a couple months, when I return home, back to my friends and family who I miss.

In the future when I find my second love - my husband.

And even further when I am years into marriage and deep friendships,

even when things get tough and people fail me...

I want to learn to love without condition.

I want to learn selflessness...

for the sake of those I love.

For the sake of Christ.

.

buk-o

I've decided that if I were stranded here and I had to find a job I would first be a baker.

The bakeries here are on every second corner and they make fresh bread every couple hours...

My second job would be a BUKO VENDER. [Buko meaning coconut.]

From my window right now I can hear them calling out, "Buk-ooo!" I often see them and make up stories of what their lives are like while they push this cart...what do they think about?...are they supporting a family?...do they even like the taste of coconut?...did they choose this job?...

My least favourite job here would be to sweep streets. I don't even know if they are paid minimum wage. They are always dirty and they all have to wear these long sleeved (yes, in this weather) dark blue uniforms...

Sometimes I pray and plead to the Lord, "Oh Father, please don't ever let me be stuck in a job like this where I would hate it and where it would be so boring!

I'm reading "Safely Home" by Randy Alcorn and he had this to say: